I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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