I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
