Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
