No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
