you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
