I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
