She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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