She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
