I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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