I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
this hospital has no fireball
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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