Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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