Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
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I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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