We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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