you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
