My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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