that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
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How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
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Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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