Sober January is a disaster.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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