I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
