At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
