did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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