my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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