So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
