I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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