I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
