I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
