I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
