He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
