He kissed a someone with a penis
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
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On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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