nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
