doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
