why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
