i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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