let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
