My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
