LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
