my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
