Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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