she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
