the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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