Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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