Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
