May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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