I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
