Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
