if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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