Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
