More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
