You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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