Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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