she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
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im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
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He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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