Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
