i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
