It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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