exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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