Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
