so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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