my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
