then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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