i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
